[bu'hert]

wow, so many things to digest in this one. 

First off: you gave a detailed impression of conflict, divorce from her independent feelings, and a clear sense of loss, from one moment to the next, it kept me reading which is perhaps the biggest intention of any writer.

I think you did a great job promoting the hopes and fears, the sense of foreboding, and the confusion she was experiencing, this post had some room for improvement, but in so many aspects, It just rang out as more crystal clear than a movie.

You are an exceptionally talented writer, I look forward to your work and I think you have sparked a sense of creativity in my mind, the little things I want to see in the way I describe the universe through my character's eyes.

I would love to discuss some of the things that gave you the inspiration to write this, my style is different but I can enjoy the work of fellow writers and learn something from their efforts.

Thank you for a well-done piece, I look forward to more.  I am hungry for it.

~GreaterFrost

I can re read this and think what was going on while I was writing it.  First off.  I wanted her OFF Enterprise C because theres no info on that ship and I didn't feel qualified to make stuff up.  

I read a story about a tribe a long time ago that thought a creature came to their village and took away their people and they called it "feeding"
In southern Illinois on the mississippi rive near alton, Il the native americans sacrificed to the Piasa Bird.  I grew up 20 miles from where the pic painting on the cliff walls depicting it was and it always scared the crap out of me as a kid.  Now I just think its cool.

the kiss scene i got while listening to the song, the old man that tells her that she must kill it IS the old man from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.   (stolen)

I was writing from my experience in therapy and hypnosis sometimes, I love that you get so much out of the words that are popping up in my mind.  I think its really cool.  

thank you for your enthusiasm

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piasa

look at the scary thing

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Wow! Not sure where to start. Your writing is not the typical character/plot that's laid out like a neat little map for the reader, but rather that we pay attention. You have to get involved, to put yourself in the place of the character in order to try to understand what she is going through/feeling, sensing, thinking... At some points it's easy to become the characters rather than distancing yourself from them. It's immersive, if you will. The story itself is a delicious break from the more tried and trite plot lines: we have a character who is in the process of developing, we're seeing an adventure through her eyes - and often with her understanding or lack of understanding of what is happening to her and around her. If I have a criticism it's only that I would like the last few paragraphs to be a little longer as there was a LOT happening, and I'm not sure I full understood it. Lovely writing, really enveloping characters and a unique story. You scored a hat trick.

I wanted to have an away team show up investigating a distress signal, and see a girl ( she's a kid afterall ) being chase by a blob and the kill the blob.  
they don't know that the aura of that blob may or may not have transferred to the girl.  or that it used to be inside the body of another.  they can pick up those pieces and put them in their reports i guess.  Her killing off a ship full of officers could happen, but I still think in the end there has to be phaser fire.  

YOU thought she survived the ordeal, in my mind she might of been taken over by the creature, or died.  
I think i ran out of steam once I had what I knew I wanted in the story, I didn't know how to tied it all together, with being repetitive. 

I am happy you like it though.  writing is good therapy but no ones doing the dishes