[brawndo_mom]

One - I freakin' love your visuals. I can see every scene, see the characters, see the settings - and you do it with such minimal use of words. So brilliant there.

Two - I love the way the story is a non-story; citations of events from so many points of view - and yet without a real story arc. It ties everything together with literary snapshots, and, until the last paragraph, lets the reader totally make up their own ideas about what's going on.

Three - your conclusion sounds just like so many memos from the C-level execs to their teams: that little exasperation of 'Really? When are you guys going to stop goofin off and/or figure it out? Get back to work!" that we've all either experienced or heard of.

Another lovely piece of writing!