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"Loaned, not owned" enjoy
#1
Loaned, not owned

Chapter 1
A

[“Congratulations”]
The cadet wakes, panicky and sweating, sits up and screams into the brightly lit empty room.
Not moving her head but surveying the room with her eyes. The refresher...standard bland white 
Starfleet issue cleaning station and lav, closet and storage area, a small area on the wall where one 
would put images of their parents or pets...

[”Congratulations”]
..she squeezes her eyes shut and counts to three before opening them...the space is clean, white and bare.
 “No surprises there,” she says to herself.  There’s the window, the morning sun shining bright through the 
glass and she remembers that she’s in her room and in her bed. Alone.

Her morning classes will start with or without her and groaning she decides to start the day the same way 
she has for the last three glorious years here at Starfleet Academy.

Its 2344, we have so many technological wonders, warp speeds, an entire multitude of universes to explore 
and yet, the hot water tapers off at the rinse, just as it has since her first day at the academy.
As she watches the water disappear down the drain between her feet....her bare wet feet turn a crimson red 
and her body tenses in shock as the water turns frigid and the light go out into a dim gray area and and....
she’s little again, the straps are tight around her ankles and she can feel her fingers tingling with numbness.
[no]
Tied tight at the wrist and suspended above her head, the cold water runs down her naked body..
[no]
...she’s cold and scared.  They came in the middle of the night and took all of us, but I don’t know any of these 
girls. Looking down the row, we are all children.  Some littleones too, and she’s dangling there, her feet can’t 
even touch the floor.  She’s crying..we’re all crying and I can’t help anyone or hear anything but water spraying
on us, footsteps and voices.
Voices of men.
She feels a gloved finger touch her chin..
[Congratulations]



B

Astrophysics. This is the door I love walking through the most.

All cadets are required to study a wide range of disciplines, from statistical mathematics to exophilosophy, 
but Astrophysics is my personal favorite.  A planet seems stationary with this bowl of stars turning above. 
People on the planet use these stars for navigation, sing songs about them and make wishes when see them, 
but I wanted to know everything I could about them.




In the camp schools after I was rescued I would read everything I could on stars. Their positions, luminosities,
and motions. Using chemistry and physics we know about the birth, life and death of stars, planets, galaxies, 

nebulae and other objects in the universe. That is astrophysics.


Most cadets go through a four year program, with the last year spent on assignment in the field. Given to the 
suck ups or having a famous last name.  I am an unknown orphan girl who’s only bit of luck was being here. 
So my last year will be here on earth and hopefully find myself an assistant astrophysics officer position or 
something.  Professor Jakobs is looking at me as I walk in, and like he does everyday he says, 

“why do you insist on using that door?”

This is actually the emergency exit of the astrophysics lab technically. I always take the stairs to the lab because 
of a childhood fear of turbo lifts, tight spaces in general for obvious reasons.

“Good morning Professor”

I say as I take my seat. Trying not to make eye contact with anyone but feel eyes on me just the same. I know 

it’s Lavele. It’s always him, he’s always looking at me and smiling.

“Starships and claustrophobia do not mix well you know” he leans over and whispers. 
"The turbo lift doors open, it’s not a trap."

“Cleithrophobia is the fear of being trapped, and is often confused with, the fear of enclosed spaces.” I whispered 
back instantly feeling like a know it all.



Chapter 2


1


After class she walked, on her way to the Botanical Gardens, she likes to go there to think and heard her name. 
When she stopped, turned around, it was Lavele. Boy, he never gives up, she thought, and smiled a little

“So I’m thinking Jakobs has it out for me”, he said as he stopped and leaned against the plaque I was pretending 
to read

“Hey, show some respect” she said and he moved his boot quickly, to her said

“Sorry” then to the plaque “Sorry Jimbo”, back to get “but Jakobs seems to like you, glad I sit next to you, your luck 
might rub off”

“you don’t want my luck” she muttered as they strolled towards the bay

“No? What about your company? I want that, c’mon it’s drinks, food, conversation...I don’t bite”

“Lavele...” she said looking down at their boots

“C’mon...Don’t make me beg” she felt his fingers lift her chin and she felt her muscles stiffen...he lifts her chin up to 
look into his gray eyes with his cold gloved hand.

[you’ve been selected as my pet.] 

He’s smiling and I feel evil and pain behind that smile, tears stream down my dirty cheeks as he says

[shhhhh...oh how I love to play with my pets...and eventually ....]

His men take my wrists off the hooks. There’s isn’t as much of the screaming or crying as before. The little girl that 
couldn't the floor is gone. Many of them are.  And the men too. His hand moves my face, forcing me to look at him, 
and not gentle this time

[Eventually...they learn to love playing with me too. Well, some don’t.]



2


“She just started screaming, Sir. I barely touched her, oh craw, the way that sounds, I mean I wanted to look her in the 
eyes and I only...” he trailed off, not really knowing how to end the sentence he begun.

Watching the boy thoughtfully, the Superintendent replied matter of factly

“I read the report of what happened, Mr. Lavele, you’re not in any trouble here. Thank you for your statement, young man.  
You get back to your classes now, dismissed....and Zayyn?"

“yes sir?”

“She will be okay. You have my assurances”

“Yes, sir”



The office door closed behind Cadet Lavele as Superintendent Glaath lowered his gaze back to the datapad. She was 
in the courtyard standing in front of him screaming and shrieking. He said to himself out loud...”Scared the devil out of 
everyone there, I’m sure”

Leaning back he thought, she’s resting comfortably in sickbay with an entire team of doctors tasked at finding out what 
went wrong. well ‘what went wrong’ can already be found in her report, he thought.


                                Parents killed on Turkana IV as a child, she was then captured, used, traded to others then taken
                                off world and  sold to a 
group Troglytes. There’s nothing in the report after that except that she was
                                found on Earth 6 years ago and grew up in the 
orphan camps.



Had it not been for the charitable beings and programs that allow students with her, past she’d never be in Starfleet to say 
the least. 

“Well, she could use some, GOOD luck for a change” he said to his empty room and he began his message.



Chapter 3


1



As the lash comes down again and again on her back,she screams with her eyes tightly closed yet his 
cold and calculating voice can be heard,

[You can cry and scream, grovel or beg for your life all you want]

The light in the room begins to increase, she rolls onto her back to keep it from getting hit again and yet he talks on.

[but your personal safety is ]....’safety is nothing to be taken lightly. Just last week a commissioned office was killed 
in the line of duty while investigating a structural collapse on Raknal V, and....’ 

the voice stopped when she sat up.  She’s in a bed. A medical bed. Two nurses were talking about about Klingons 
or something.

“How did I..” her throat was on fire..”Oh, I’m, my head”

“ Yes, well it needs to be resting, as long as I’m on duty, that is. I’m Nurse Kamden and you gave us quite a scare today.

He told her what happened in the gardens but all she remembers is Lavele putting his boots on a plaque, flirting, seeing 
that guy they call Boothby...then seeing security and doctors all over her.



2


She slept. And slept. Lavele visits. Flirts, though his visits come less and less. His frustration with me shows. 
He’s trying, but it’s working about as well as the Elway Theorem. Eventually I assume he’ll just give it up.

Poor kid....Doesn’t he know I’m a lost cause?



Chapter 4

1

[Congratulations”]

The cadet wakes, panicky and sweating, sits up in the brightly lit empty room.
Not moving her head but surveying the room with her eyes.

Her hospital room.

Same as always. Day after day, week after glorious week. She feels good, her headaches 
are gone, she still has the dreams. Still hears his voice, but less.

Today she leaves sickbay and back to the dorms to resume what was her normal routine. 
But what’s normal?

Traveling back and forth in your mind, seeing faces and hearing voices that aren’t there is normal?
The medications help of course and hey I’m getting a clean bill of health from the doctors. Some luck there.

The data pad next to her bed chimed. There’s a message.

She picks up the pad and looks at the message and drops the pad into her lap and squeezes her eyes shut.



2



“1....2...3...” she opens her eyes, picks up the read and exhales.



Under the Starfleet Academy "Ex astris, scientia" logo was her name and a message.



                       ‘Congratulations you’ve been selected to conduct your final year here at the academy abroad'

....tears welling in her eyes......

                        ’I’ve received glowing reports from all of your instructors most notably Professor Jakkobs.
                         During your time here at the Academy you’ve consistently performed your studies and duties 
                         in the superior manor and you are showing the makings of a model student and fine cadet.

                         Therefore, I’ve recommended you be appointed as cadet level assistant to the Astrophysics 
                          lab on board the Ambassador-class starship-‘

”Yessssssssss!"  She yells, "..op...shi-sorry” she laughingly says to the closed door and reads on

                       ...on board the Ambassador-class starship USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-C).  Her captain is an 
                       old colleague of mine and on a more personal note I felt not only could you use a change but 
                          I thought it was time for your luck to change

Tears of joy feel wonderful on your cheeks she thought and she read

                         ‘Good Luck and Good Job!
                          Regards, Admiral Glaath
                          Superintendent Starfleet Academy


The USS Enterprise-C.

She thinks, her luck HAS changed.

"Congratulations" 
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#2
Wow! Terrifying and awesome and ominous and hopeful... There's a part of me that didn't want to read the next line and another, bigger part that wanted to plunge through this book. Great character and plot start!!!!!! Wow, wow, wow. Wow!
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#3
Trauma is one of those things you don't just recover from, you struggle for many years to recover from if you recover at all. I read over your post several times and I recreated the imagery in my head.. so many of the pieces fit exactly as I imagined them but not all of them.

I wanted to start off by offering well-deserved applause. The short post was thought-provoking, entertaining, and inspirational. many readers expect to read something that fits a more general narrative since fiction must in many ways be more realistic than non-fiction. You approached a difficult and rarely described thought experiment identifying the psychological echoes that systemic trauma forces a survivor to endure. I enjoyed the interchange of memories as a first-person perspective and the current day as a third-person narrative with many unanswered questions but enough information to keep me in my seat.

I would have liked to have seen more information about her slavers, I assume they are meant to be nebulous but you titled the piece 'loaned.' I don't know if you are inferring she is a sleeper agent, or she is not free of his influence. Secondarily you talk about the trauma and the angst of the stress in graduating from the academy, but she is a young woman, where are the feminine second guesses, the lapses in judgment, and the yearning every young woman deals with.

I think you wrote an intriguing piece, something that has a real future at describing the character and the environment, for me I was hoping for a little more conflict, and something that gave me a reason to be concerned about this woman. she survived an ordeal and she found a way to get into Starfleet, but why am I interested in what she's going through, and what is the motivation she has for her efforts in being the best?

Fantastic work, I'd like to see much more.
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#4
I was driving to work Monday and thought “ how terrible would it be to have terrible luck, and get assigned to the doomed ship, Enterprise C?

And I thought of Tasha yar so I picked the planet that her rape gangs were from as the place where we meet this student when she flashes back as a little girl. And every time the antagonizer, speaks...in red, like Jesus’ words, giving a hint that he may be their savior.  I heard Richards Montelban’s voice, so maybe his kin is this guy? 

I think her story could expand, but I hope she gets off Ent-C before it’s too late.  

But the title is “Loaned, not owned” which is an old saying I heard about Lucky. “Lucks loaned, not owned.” Which her luck has been handed to her, even the well meaning Admiral dealt her a case of bad luck, unknowingly.  

By the way, the nurse, was talking to another nurse about the death of a TNG’s relative.  ?
And there’s a Wesley Crusher reference in there but you may know that already.  

Thank you for your review.  ?
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#5
I just wanted to thank you again for your work. it's given me a great deal of interest into studying more about the rape gangs and the like, enterprise c is something I wish they mentioned more but I am really looking forward to the next excerpt you choose to share with us.
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